Caring for the Elderly
written by Jim Berry
I'm supposed to write articles on business & finance, but if you have a
mother or father that requires constant attention, I guess you would say that
it is a full time business.

They raised and nurtured us when we were younger and now the roles are
reversed. It seems that most adults are out at work these days and that the
caring of a parent seems to be an overwhelming task that is added to list of
"things to do".

We are busy with our lives with so many "chores". We feel a little guilty
that we are not doing more for our parents. Should we stick them in a
nursing home or get a live in nurse? What are the consequences of our
decisions?

We realize that someday we will be in the same position most likely and we
ask ourselves the question - do we really want to be a burden to our
families? Do we really want to be the subject of conversation behind closed
doors?

Your parents "did" for you so why is it that you cannot "do" for them? Are
they no longer "useful" to you. Are you a little angry or disappointed that
you are not longer getting care from them? Does your stomach turn now that
you have to wipe their bottoms as they once did for you?

When they were raising you did they ask these same questions? Or, did they
do the job that needed to be done as one of the responsibilities in their
lives?

Are you short tempered with them because you have to take them on as a
responsibility? Does the reality of what you have to do for them on a day to
day basis drive you crazy? Or do you choose not to be responsible for them
and "put them away" in some health care program? That's the easy choice and
after all you can go about your day's business now that "the issue is
settled".

Now all you need to do is show up at the funeral, cry and tell everybody how
wonderful they were and by the way don't they look good in the casket.

Folks...it ain't an easy task but it is a reality of life. You will be there
someday. How would you like to be "treated" when that day arrives?

You can choose to take on the responsibility or reject it. As an admonition,
but certainly not to make you feel guilty, (have another drink) - WHAT GOES
AROUND - COMES AROUND.
10/31/99